Aunt Barista

In September I spent some time with my niece and nephew, two little people I rarely get the chance to see but should probably see more often before they pass through childhood and morph into grown-ups. My eight-year-old niece was making a joke using the words bored and board games, which phonetically sound identical but here she is, at eight, recognizing linguistic properties in order to create humor. Such wit! Such cunning! Perhaps she is on her way to becoming a stand up comedian? The fact she is already making sophisticated connections about her language is fantastic but on the same hand, terrifying for those who don’t want her to grow up.

Because I was in charge of overseeing two children, we ended up at a coffee shop. (My nephew took all the photos in this post.)



No, I didn’t give them espresso shots or introduce them to their first cappuccino. As a general rule, children don’t need caffeine. So what can a child order at a coffee shop? Here are a few popular choices: Hot Chocolate, Chocolate Milk, Regular Milk, Italian Sodas and French Sodas. Also, many coffee shops have Juice as an option. I would add Tea to the list but can’t imagine being able to convince an American child to drink tea.



Are there things for children to do at coffee shops? Not really. But I needed caffeine and I made it into an “exciting” adventure because it turns out their parents never take them to coffee shops. (Shocking, I know.) You see, my niece and nephew have this idea of coffee shops as a “grown-up only” kind of place that is off limits to kids. Well, I made sure to show them what they have been missing out on. After staring intently at their surroundings and gulping down their drinks, I heard a mutual cry of: “We’re bored…” Followed by: “Can we go do something else now?”

As a good Aunt I said, “Okay,” and we left. After I finished my mocha.

Why the word “brunch” should be used with caution

“Let’s meet for brunch this Sunday.”

Let it be known, I am suspicious of anyone who uses the word “brunch.” If you are British royalty or perhaps dear Martha then the word “brunch” is suitable for your vocabulary. I have no trouble listening to Martha speak of brunch. She could talk about brunch for ten days straight and I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I do, however, have trouble listening to others use the word. Like my new sister-in-law, D, who arranged a family brunch this Sunday. She may not know this but my family doesn’t do brunch. We do breakfast, lunch and dinner, and that’s it. Napkins? Fine china? Eating with utensils? Don’t expect these fancy features, either. When we eat as a family it’s more like a primitive feast, complete with belching. Everyone talks over one another to the point of numbness. Scraps of food end up scattered about the table and floor. There is no etiquette or form of civilized manner. In short: family meals tend to be loud, eccentric and ultimately exhausting.

So, the notion of introducing brunch to a pack of wolves? Good luck with that one.