In time for the holidays

You may need to hit refresh. A new banner should appear at the top of the page. For those of you who wonder about these things: The font used in the banner is Home Sweet Home, which I downloaded from 1001 Free Fonts. I made the banner this afternoon in Adobe Illustrator and my roommate, L, gave me input which I appreciated. I would like to be an expert at using Illustrator one day but I know it is going to take some time... I need to learn how to draw with a Wacom tablet and I want to create graphics that are more professional and dynamic. Also, a lot of the time I don't know what I'm doing in Illustrator and so knowing more basic skills might be helpful, too.

All those years of being a Student Safety finally paid off

Sometimes I have the feeling my two roommates are trying to sabotage me. Mold appears in the area above the kitchen sink. Does anyone notice? Of course not, but when I see the mold a part of me panics. “This is a health emergency!” I think. “We can’t have mold in the kitchen! Especially so close to the sink, where we are constantly washing dishes!” Five seconds later I return to the scene with bleach*. The mold must be contained. I do my part, scrubbing away, musing to myself, “Whew, that was a close one.”

A few days later one of my roommates returns home with a space heater she has just purchased from another girl in the building. “The right side is broken but the left side works… I’m not sure if this is a fire hazard or not,” she tells me. I consider this for a few seconds and ask if the heater has instructions on it. She checks and discovers the heater clearly states that it is not to be used if one side is broken. A few days pass and I discover my roommate has taken to using the partially broken, dangerous, fire-waiting-to-happen space heater anyway. *Sigh.* First, the mold… now the risk of fire... I feel as if I must be on constant safety alert or else this apartment may not make it. Luckily, I have a copy of this book close by.


* Yes, I know bleach shouldn’t be kept in the home. Bleach is evil… I get it. However, have you seen how quickly and efficiently it kills mold? Also, I love how every time I use bleach I end up getting it on whatever I’m wearing. When I look at my spotted clothes later I am reminded of my own competency.

Beowulf

Sometimes my brother, W, makes wild statements that I cannot ignore. During Thanksgiving dinner I was quietly eating the corn on my plate, somewhat ignoring the loud sound of my family hopping from one topic to the another when my brother, W, uttered these words:

“I feel like I have to go see the remake of Beowulf. Now that I’m an English teacher I need to be familiar with the contemporary portrayal of the stor...”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “You do not need to see a CGI based film in order to understand Beowulf! The movie doesn’t even follow the epic poem!”

(I haven’t seen the movie but I’ve read up on it. And, it seems to me there is a drastic difference between the (boring) epic poem and Angelina Jolie’s scary, animated braid or the fact you get to see Angelina naked! In CGI! Oh my!)

We debated this topic for quite some time before W admitted he liked someone involved in the film who is also a comic book writer… at which point I felt utterly exasperated. Let me explain: My brother has recently become an English/Math teacher. He has also taken a recent liking to comics. Meaning: instead of reading Shakespeare and other great works of English literature (or novels, even) he is delving into how the X-men became united or about how an ordinary boy discovers he has the power to move through time… which, by the way, you can skip reading because it has been covered extensively in movie form.

I believe everyone has the right to read whatever suits his or her fancy. The average Joe might not need to read Beowulf or A Tale of Two Cities in order to survive. I do, however, feel like my brother is in a different position. I feel like as an English teacher he should be replacing Ultimate Spiderman with The Great Gatsby. The Sandman should be replaced with Paradise Lost. He should be reading each and every boring story that English literature has to offer. After all, if he doesn’t read and love it, who will?

I suppose this matter is close to my heart as someone who almost became an English teacher. I had a lot of time to think about the kinds of things I would and wouldn’t do in this position. Being well-read and loving literature in its original form seems important. I came to this conclusion early on. (Then, after taking countless teaching courses I discovered teaching was not for me.)

Also, a part of me likes the idea of my brother reading Beowulf and trying to silence such thoughts as: God, this is awful followed by No, this is really awful and Do I really have to read this? Or should I just go kill myself now in order to skip the next few pages? This is the kind of torture every older brother should have to endure.

Watch your mouth, Santa

Someone told me public Santas can no longer say, “Ho, ho, ho! Happy Holidays!” Apparently the “Ho, ho, ho” is not politically correct. So what do Santas say now? Ha, ha, ha? Hum, hum, hum? Hee, hee, hee? What is it? I don’t have small children so I might need someone with small children to clue me in. Wait, here is a related story on the matter.

Christmas/Holiday card giveaway

I bought a box of Christmas cards today and have just finished putting together my list. What list? The list of people who are in my good graces and therefore deserve a Christmas card… I have to be honest with you, not everyone made The List. Cuts had to be made. I won’t be sending a card to everyone this year. Yes, I am a bit of a Grinch but it suits me. It turns out I will have extra cards left over… quite a few extra cards… and I don’t want them to go wasted. I would simply save them for future use but one can’t exactly reuse the same Christmas card design two years in a row. I would never do something so… tacky.

So I’ve decided the best option is to offer free cards to the readers of this blog. If you are interested, leave a comment and I will contact you via email. If you have an idea for what I can do with the extra cards, then leave a comment with your suggestion. I think this could be great fun.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I know I enjoyed mine. I made the trip to my hometown in order to meet up with family for a Thanksgiving feast. My oldest brother and his wife, my sister-in-law, held the event at their house. Here are a few things they did that I found clever:

Turkey was served but they also served ham (for those who like options or don’t like turkey).

They had an excess of mashed potatoes. This is important because running out of mashed potatoes during Thanksgiving dinner only puts everyone in a bad mood. Also, mashed potatoes go fast.

Appetizers were available before and after the meal.

I was not pleased that we played Apples to Apples… A game with no strategy! A game that we now play at every family gathering! Meaning, we never play my favorite, Balderdash. How tragic. Although I did find it amusing when for the category “Unnatural” my nephew insisted on picking The Vatican. “I don’t know what it is but it just sounds strange!” he declared.

And now, it is time for much needed sleep.

Holiday buzz

I'm thinking of getting the Wee Wonderfuls Mr. and Mrs. Gnome pattern so I can make little gnomes of my own. I don't sew. I don't know how to sew. But do those kind of details actually matter? My mind has been fixed on the holidays lately. I have a special place in my heart for this time of year.

If you are in the 3rd grade, don't worry, you can handle reading this blog

I just tested the reading level of my blog (all the cool kids are doing it, after all). My results are shown below:



Um, something a little higher than Elementary School would of been nice but I guess this means my posts are highly accessible... I'm going to throw in a sentence a 3rd grade might have more trouble with: Colorless green ideas sleep furiously. If you can explain this sentence, you win a prize. And, let's throw in some Shakespeare for good measure: “Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind.” Maybe I need one advanced sentence per blog entry to boost my score and then at that point I can reach a Middle School Reading Level. How exciting!

Life in a cold apartment

This link is useful: How to improve our efforts to winterize our drafty, old apartment. (Via not martha.) My apartment gets very cold in the winter. It's a bit like living in the Arctic tundra. I whined about it last year but didn't take action to counter the problem. This year I'm thinking action may be needed. My new roommate, The One From Spain, has asked about the cold several times. I told her, "Don't worry, it is going to get much colder," in an effort to prepare her. Perhaps I will teach her how to build an igloo next month as well.

Link to share

I am in the middle of putting together a group program for Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? but I wanted to share this article Nate just sent me. It looks intriguing and when I have more time to read it, I will. Coffee shops and gender discrimination? What a hot topic! But I can't go into it now because Virginia Woolf is calling me.

Products I agree with

I'm posting this with someone very specific in mind. You know who you are. Of course, the message can apply to others.



From Keep Calm.

What is there to do in Buffalo, NY?

I might be going on a road trip this November to Buffalo, NY. Why Buffalo? Well, you see, my old-roommate/doctor-in-training friend resides there and she is desperate need of my companionship. We lived together during the summer but she had to return home after the summer ended. Ever since my absence she has been suffering from serious Rachel withdrawal. How bad is it? Well, she has a shrine dedicated to me in her room, with lockets of my hair strewn about and my printed flickr photos pinned to it. Except, her printer only prints in black and white and so my images actually look quite sad. I think the shrine could use some improvement. Actually, I have been missing her as well and I’m excited about the idea of a road trip.

(I’m not a fan of flying. Have I ever mentioned how I’m not a fan of flying? I’ll do it, when necessary, but the process of air travel always makes me quite squeamish. I’m not afraid of flying but I have problems with motion sickness… Meaning, you should never sit next to me on an airplane. I’m the one with People magazine or some other trashy tabloid in one hand and a barf bag in the other. If you do end up sitting next to me on an airplane at some point in the future, I apologize in advance. You might want to consider upgrading to first class because I never sit there and besides, why not fly in luxury?)

The main purpose of the road trip will be to see my friend but I’m wondering what else there is to see and/or do in Buffalo. Any suggestions? I know Buffalo is involved in the Northern Cities Vowel Shift but it would help to know more.

Yet another wedding

I’ll be going to a cousin’s wedding this Saturday. She is 19 and marrying another 19 year old. No, we aren’t living in the 1950’s. You see, my Mom’s one sister (my Aunt) had eight children. My Mom had seven children. However, her sister’s children have a habit of marrying and producing children. My brothers and sisters, in general, haven’t followed this same trend. I know I haven’t followed this trend. Oh, sometimes I wake up in the morning and have a sudden thought, “Why not go get married? Today would be the perfect day for matrimony!” But then something distracts me along the way… such as my need for sanity and total selfishness. Also, I’m not sure if I want an elaborate Catholic wedding. If I get married in a Catholic church there would be pressure to include the mass as part of the ceremony, meaning, the whole event would take days. How can I consider marriage without working out these details?

I know at this weekend’s wedding (like every wedding) I will be asked: “So, when are you getting married?” I’m a witty, cynical girl and I can’t just provide any answer. I’m thinking my reply will be:

“Tomorrow. I’m getting married tomorrow.”

“Are you already engaged?”

“Yes. I just didn’t tell anyone.”

“Who is the lucky guy?”

“Well, I have two options… my current boyfriend, Nate… Or if that falls through I have my friend, the chef, as a backup.”

It is important to be prepared.

Secrecy and reading

My boyfriend, Nate, is what you’d call a closet reader. In general, reading is not an activity or hobby of his. I gave him a copy of the first Harry Potter book years ago and he still hasn’t finished it. I joke with him that the reading level is a little too high and he should be reading something simpler, perhaps Hop On Pop or Fun with Dick and Jane. The truth is: not everyone feels the same way about the Harry Potter series. Yes, this is somewhat sad and tragic for me to comprehend but I’ll manage. Somehow. So although Nate isn’t what I would call a reader, he is what I would call a closet reader. And there is a difference.

“Let’s just stop in for a few seconds,” I say, as we pass a bookstore. The seconds turn into hours, the hours turn into days and I have nothing to do with such madness. I’m fine with a bookstore hit-and-run. I only need a half hour or maybe an hour at most before I start itching to leave. However, by the time I’m ready I must go find Nate, who is always in the middle of reading an entire book. From start to finish, no less. Sometimes he is standing up reading; sometimes he is sitting down on the floor. In these moments he is a vision for literacy in the United States.

“Can we go? I’m ready to leave,” I cut in.

“Okay, just give me a few more seconds.” Translation: We will leave in an hour, or perhaps the following day.

I was waiting in the bookstore for Nate to “finish” reading today and so I had time to go over these details. I began to wonder, are there other closet readers out there? Can certain places, like bookstores, morph non-readers into readers? I don’t have an answer to these questions but I do know this: bookstores do not make for a hot date.

NaBloPoMo is here!

It is November, which means NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) is here. I'm going to try to stick with it... knowing that sometimes sitting in front of my computer is the last place I want to be. However, if November is going to be as cold as it was today I might be spending every second of it happily indoors. With a warm drink close by. My slippers snug on my feet. Wondering how my sister in Florida survives being seconds away from the beach.